I grabbed my Bible, Journal, Coffee, Computer, Pens, and Concordance for my Bible study this morning. I sat down before the dog or cat could interrupt me, opened in prayer, and asked for understanding about suffering and healing.
So, I decided to dive into a Bible study on healing. Again. Again, because apparently, it’s taking me longer to get it.
Why doesn’t God heal everyone? If you’ve ever been told it’s because you didn’t have enough faith–I am sorry. That is not true, and I’ve been told that, too. I didn’t have enough faith, I wasn’t “Spirit-filled” because I didn’t speak in tongues, therefore I couldn’t be healed . . . yada, yada, yada. Those thoughts we need to put out of our heads. They are untrue.
I’ve studied the topic of healing before in proper context. But something this time made me uncomfortable. It seems I’m learning that some people, Christians in particular, act as if they’re superstitious about suffering, especially when one speaks of it. Why? Because we weren’t or aren’t healed? When one is suffering, if they aren’t allowed to bring it up, voice it, allow tears to flow, and have others gather around and pray for them, what are they to do but to sit quietly and act as if life is . . . fine? But, it’s not fine. It could be falling apart, and a person unraveling in your very presence, yet it’s too uncomfortable to talk about as we “might” give too much glory to the darkness instead of the Light that saves and heals us. This is where I usually prefer to bang my head against the wall and cry out to God, because I just don’t get it. The very people I need the most are the ones that I can talk to the least.
I found myself in deep thought writing the following on my Facebook page:
If, during a season or lifetime of suffering, a person never really spoke about how deep, dark, and desperate their suffering was and made them, those around them to hear about the horrors of it wouldn’t be able to comprehend or understand how great the glory of God truly is in their lives, that they survive, march on, and continue to run the race–regardless of how low or slow– toward the finish line to receive Christ Jesus who holds their eternal life.
It is OK to speak of your dark and desperate moments, because when doing so, you let the crack of light–that glimmer–shine for all to see. When hope and peace shine through even the smallest crack in darkness, it brings blinding light. It doesn’t take much. So, speak, talk, and don’t let others put out the little light you have, because they think you give the darkness too much credit.
Where light shines in, there is no such thing.
I wanted to read again, something I’d found on GotQuestions.org, so I read and reflected upon it. It is a dangerous thing to take Scripture out of context or not understand it when claiming the promises of God. For example, the freedom from illness for the Israelites in the Mosaic Covenant can be misapplied as a promise of today. Read more about it here in the article, Why Doesn’t God Heal Everyone.
I’ve come to realize, again, that though well-meaning, Christians can be superstitious about healing, why I’m not healed, and not want to talk about the darkness that surrounds me, as it will give too much credit to the darkness which will just keep me unhealed and where I’m at.
That’s my response and how it makes me feel.
If all I have is a glimmer of light in the darkest hours of my life, through all the suffering I endure as I continue to go undiagnosed while physicians search for or give up on finding answers–it’s been both ways for me–, that glimmer of light is more powerful than all the light most of the well-feeling world sees in a day, but it’s worth could not be understood if the depth of the darkness, illness, and feeling crappy was not understood. And unless we’re willing to talk about it, that understanding will never take place which could shed a glimmer of light on another, who also sits in such sickness, despair, hopelessness–whatever it is–to bring glory to God also.
The truth is, no matter how dark life, circumstances, or health is, that small glimmer can get you from where you’re at to glory, and THAT completion, despite the desperation, is the win. That’s God at work in our life, and the glory goes to Him. Had there not been that tiny glimmer in such despair, we who suffer would never find our way.
And sometimes we need to talk about it, and we need to talk about it without fear of making Christians superstitious, because the light casts out darkness. Period.
Talking about your suffering is not giving glory to the darkness. It is giving glory to the Light, that through your deepest darkest life moments, you survive and still head toward glory.
Praise God, and thank You, Jesus.